Have you ever had mental health problems, but never knew what caused it? You may have never seen those things as long-term problems, but I’m here to tell you that there are .
I will avoid all the obvious things like watching excessive TV and scary movies because I think that is very much down to the personality of the individual and how they process it. I will have a go at the subtle stuff which is guaranteed to erode mental health in the long term.
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- Constantly comparing ourselves to other people. If we do this we normally place ourselves at the bottom of the heap. It’s not easy to feel good about yourself when you feel you are looking up from the gutter.
- Obsessing about what others think of us. Truth is, unless we directlyaffect them we barely register on their radar. We are thinking about them, they are mostly not thinking about us.
- Telling ourselves we are not good enough. This is like a constant drip feed of acid to our self esteem.
- Extreme people pleasing. We all like to be liked. When that turns into a need to be liked where other peoples needs are more important than yours, then you have a problem.
- Pain. Constant pain can lead to a downward spiral of depression and feeling trapped. We can feel we have lost personal autonomy if we don’t have control over our own bodies.
- Lack of confidence. Lack of confidence can make us feel very isolated and insular. It can make us feel the whole world is confident, except us. Social media tends to amplify those feelings.
- Family disputes. It’s difficult to accept that the very people that shouldlove and care for you, don’t.
- Bullying. Bullying at any age can have devastating effects that can last well into adulthood and possibly a lifetime, it strikes at our very core.
- Disturbed or lack of sleep over the long term. The link between depression and sleep problems has been well established.
- Caring for someone with mental health issues. It’s very common for the carer to be effected by the deterioration of another’s mental health especially if they are in a close relationship.
- Undermining. Passive aggressive behaviors and getting constantly undermined will effect mental health in the long term. This is especially so in a marriage where the victim feels they cannot escape this abuse.
- Perfectionism. Perfectionism goes hand in hand with never feeling that what you do is ever good enough. Chasing the elusive dream of perfection serves to intensify those feelings.
- Loneliness and isolation. Isolation is a major symptom of depression. We tend to isolate ourselves from the very people that can help us, such is the complexity of this distressing illness.
- Having someone negative in our lives that we cannot avoid, it’s like constantly rubbing salt into an open wound.
- Not being recognized as an individual in a relationship. We are not extensions of other people. Personal autonomy is vital for mental health. We are not just cooks, cleaners, general dogsbody and someone to have sex with occasionally.
- Culture. Yes culture. This is where the person can be reduced to nothing more than a possession that is subjugated and restricted at every opportunity with threats of abuse, or worse.
- Non acceptance. If we consistently deny that our life has changed and things will never be the same, it can become a fast track to depression.
- Living in the past and pining for how things used to be. It’s extremely difficult to move forward if we are constantly looking over our shoulder to where we came from.
- Expectation. If our expectations of other people doesn’t match reality we are going to have a hard time. We are projecting what we would like them to be, not how they actually are.
- Trying to change the behavior of another person when they see no compelling reason to change is a one way ticket to frustration and disappointment.
There are loads of other factors that can lead to a slow deterioration of mental health, but I would rather not keep you reading for the next week.
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